Sunday, March 13, 2011

Movies & Milk

It's been years since we've gone on a date. Financially, Autism and life have taken a toll. My husband, lost his job last February. I left my job in March 2008 to take care of the girls, so as of February, we were living on love and savings. We could have applied for Social Security for the kids, but that would have acknowledged that they were disabled. We weren't able to do that yet. So we depleted our savings, hoping and waiting for the kids to outgrow this diagnosis. Date night wasn't an option. No one really felt comfortable watching the kids and we couldn't afford a professional. Spending time with the kids became harder and harder because there was no relief. The constant crying because speech was beyond them was oppressive and there were times that I would hide in the bathroom, just to catch my breath. We try to speak calmly at all times and raise our voice only to get attention, not to yell but there are times during a particularly long tantrum that I wanted to scream. I want to kick the wall, I want to head bang. I understand that deep frustration without an appropriate outlet. I understand too well.

Last night, we celebrated our 5 year anniversary. Now that I'm working full-time and my husband has found a wonderful part-time job, we have a small amount of wiggle room. We've interviewed many professionals and found one that seemed to be wise enough to be afraid and trained enough to brave a few hours at an exorbitant price. We decided to go to the mall to leisurely walk around and maybe, if the sales were right, shop till I drop. We gave ourselves an hour. I can do damage in an hour. LOL. My husband stood patiently as I ransacked the 50% off rack and only sighed softly when I tossed everything aside upon seeing the 70% off rack. When I noticed that he seemed to be shifting his weight side to side, I gave him a shirt to check the price on the scanner and didn't tell him that there were two barcodes, one for returns. I bought myself another 5 minutes! After milking it for all it was worth, we left the mall and headed to the movies. We saw the new Adam Sandler movie, it was cute and fun and longgggg. I felt my shoulders start to relax and I started to really laugh at the absurd comedy that I love so much. There was an odd moment with a sheep and a plastic fish that reminded me of the kids. The plastic fish was an exact copy of Bagabuga's favorite fish. I began to worry about how the kids were doing. They should be sleeping, everything is fine. The movie ends and the kids are on my mind once again. We need to pick up some milk.

CVS is located right next to the movie theater and is open 24 hours. Awesome! Let's get milk and head home and oh, while we're at it, let's impulse shop. I need a mirror with a magnifying glass, who doesn't? While I'm at it, let's get a loufa. They have a teal one. I MUST HAVE IT! I reach in to grab it and I can't reach it! The sides of the box are too high for someone of my shorter persuasion to reach the bottom. So I look up at my husband, all 6'3" of him and sweetly say, "Help me, please! I want the teal one!" His arms are loaded with a gallon of milk and a box of donuts (his own impulse shopping) and reaches down...

The milk flies through the air. And we both make a grab for it. The box of donuts end up flying too. The milk slips through both of our fingers and we watch in horror as it cracks open. My husband takes the broken container to the counter and tells the cashier, "Spill in aisle one!" The man apologizes for the inconvenience and promises to clean it up. I found this to be hysterical. Maybe it was the time of night, 11:30-virtually dead of night in my world, or it was my need to laugh and let go. Either way, I laughed so hard that I ended up doubled over and looked right into a hole on the side of the container holding the teal loafa! Score! I walk to the counter to make my purchases and see my husband perplexed that I was able to reach the loafa, let him wonder, as I started laughing all over again.

We arrived home in a great mood. I drove the sitter home after paying her a minuscule amount compared to how priceless our date night turned out to be; found my husband sitting on the floor, falling asleep because the kids had taken the couch in our absence. I covered everyone with blankets and fell asleep instantly with a smile on my face.

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