Sunday, May 29, 2011

Changing the Sheets.


Bugabuga kicks out both legs as she protects her bed. "Noooooo!" She sobbing and wild, her arms are flailing-she's hitting into the bed frame. I know I need to stop her because she'll hurt herself. I grab her arms and she pulls me down and tries to bite my face. I overpower her, sweating with the effort of gently restraining her.

"No! Mommy, please, no!"

"Come on, baby girl. You need to get off the bed." It's the same each time.

I pick up Bugabuga and place her on the floor. I quickly strip the sheets off the bed and place new ones on. I turn to the next bed and I see a figure out of the corner of my eye jump onto the freshly made bed and start tearing the sheets off.

"I need Dora! Dora! Dora! No stupid flowers. Bad mommy! Code Yellow!"

"Listen you. Get off the bed now or I will throw out the Dora sheets and you won't have them anymore. I'm not code yellow."

She scrambles off of the bed worried that I will trash the beloved sheets.

She runs from the room, "Bad Mommy." I won this battle.

I sit on her bed and close my eyes and steady my breathing. My tough love is harder on me than it is for her. I worry that she is going to hate me one day. I need to fight this battle now because one day, when I'm gone, I need to know that she can change her sheets and not keep the same sheet on because she can't handle the change. I'm hugging the damn Dora sheets like they are my best friend.

I just want to change her sheets.

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