Aunt Jane

I always wonder what my Aunt Jane would say about what I've become; how my life has turned out.

Growing up I thought Aunt Jane was every one's aunt, but in reality she was my grandmother's aunt. She never had children herself. She was married to a kind man named Uncle Pete. I grew up spending a lot of time them. We had a grand old time shopping. I remember being about 8 years old and Aunt Jane giving me a shirt that had "Silly" on the back. I was so concerned that the printer made a mistake! It should have said, Cilla. I remember asking her if we should go back to the store because I'm not silly. She looked like she was going to crack up. I was so confused. I think I even cried. Little did I know that she knew me better than I knew myself.

I am silly. I love being silly. I wish I still had that shirt. For that matter, I wish Aunt Jane was still here.

It's funny how you adopt the smallest things from people that you spend time with but you never realize that their mannerisms became yours until a sudden moment of clarity.

Tonight I was watching 101 Ways to Leave a Gameshow with the kids. I love the absurdity. It's silly, like me. The kids and I were sitting on the couch laughing and then the CEO, shifted to lay down.

"If you're laying down, you must be tired. Go to bed. A couch is not for laying on."

Where the hell did that come from? I have no problem with laying on the couch. Never did. In fact, when I was 11 and stayed at Aunt Jane's house for a few weeks, I did the same thing and she said,

"If you're laying down, you must be tired. Go to bed. A couch is not for laying on."

It was a sudden moment of deja vu.

I missed her so much. As I grew older, I would visit just to say hello. I loved sitting in her chair listening to the radio with Uncle Pete, while she made a huge meal for dinner. I loved the bologna sandwiches for lunch and the super fresh salads in the summer.

Aunt Jane was the first brave soul to get in a car with me when I got my license. I drove right to her house and picked her up so we could go shopping. Two blocks into it, I went down a street the wrong way. "We don't have to tell your mother that now, for sure." LOL.

She's been gone for quite a while and my kids missed out on knowing an exceptional woman but maybe they are getting a bit of her when I make bologna sandwiches and huge salads. And maybe they are getting more than that...

She lived a full life with Uncle Pete, despite his blindness, and we're living a full life despite Autism.